


Inquisition Book Club

by TheLadyOrTheTiger



Series: Awkward dorks in love [8]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Books, F/M, Female Friendship, Humor, Sexual Humor, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 17:29:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5172938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyOrTheTiger/pseuds/TheLadyOrTheTiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It turns out that Cassandra is not the only person in Skyhold who loves romance novels. Trevelyan, Josephine and scout Harding are also fans, and so the Inquisition Book Club is born.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inquisition Book Club

After entertaining an Orlesian ambassador for a better part of the morning, Alissa was bored beyond all reason. She needed a break. She _deserved_ a break. It was very fortunate that she noticed Vivienne descending into the main hall. Trevelyan smiled and waved at the First Enchanter, who joined them. Soon Alissa could slip away, since the ambassador was enthralled by Vivienne's conversation.

There was a spring in her step as the Inquisitor exited the castle. But what to do with her temporary freedom? Maybe Cassandra would want to spend some time with her? Their acquaintance started rather unconventionally, but now they were on the road to being close friends. Thinking about it now, Trevelyan couldn't help laughing to herself. How many people could claim to be friends with the person who held them prisoner and threatened to kill them?

Getting to know the Seeker and earning her trust turned out to be a very rewarding experience. To be let in, allowed to see the real, occasionally vulnerable, person behind the tough exterior was humbling. Now the Inquisitor couldn't imagine venturing out on missions without the warrior - she valued her experience, honesty, fighting prowess and unflinching determination to do what was right. But she did not prize only Cassandra's professional qualities. When she wanted to, the Seeker could also be great company, occasionally sharing stories, making jokes and drinking in the tavern.

As usually, Cassandra was outside of her living quarters, but unlike any other time, this afternoon she wasn't practicing with her sword. Instead, she was sitting on a stool, reading something. Whatever it was, she appeared to be completely engrossed in it, and didn't noticed Alissa nearing to her.

"Good book?" Trevelyan asked, looking over Cassandra's shoulder.

The warrior jumped up with a very uncharacteristic startled shout, hiding the book behind her back. The reaction, coupled with a glimpse of the cover told Alissa all she needed to know.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cassandra lied ineffectually, her eyes wide with panic.

"Wait... Are you blushing?" It was quite the surprise to see the stoic warrior with red-tinged cheeks.

"What would I have to blush about?"

"You tell me." Alissa wanted to reassure her friend that she had nothing to be embarrassed about, but at the same time she kind of wanted to see how the situation was going to play out. Would Cassandra admit to reading romance novels or try to deny the obvious?

"It's of no interest to you, I'm certain."

"Are you sure? You don't know all of my interests. I might surprise you." Trevelyan smiled encouragingly.

"It's... one of Varric tales. _Swords and shields_. The latest chapter." Cassandra told her, resigned. "It's literature! Smutty... literature."

"That's what I thought," Alissa stated calmly.

Cassandra gaped at the Inquisitor in obvious shock.

"Well, I didn't know it was _this_ book exactly, but I had my suspicion as to what kind of book you were reading," Trevelyan explained.

"If you're going to tease me about it, then you have to know that Dorian already has it covered..." Cassandra huffed indignantly.

"Tease you? I'd never. I..." Alissa sighed. It was so hard to say those things out loud. "I shouldn't be embarrassed about telling you this, since you read them too... So here it goes - I adore romance novels. I've been devouring them for the longest time."

Cassandra's mouth fell open.

"Truly? You're not making fun of me?"

"Listen, this is as strange for you as it is for me. I'm used to hiding it, deflecting questions, just like you did when I asked you about your book. 'Oh, this thing? It's a boring tome about the history of Antiva. Definitely not _Adventures of amorous Antivans'_ ," Trevelyan said in a fake-innocent tone.

The Seeker snorted a laugh.

"I was never that clever or calm. I usually just stared the person down until they got uncomfortable and walked away."

"Growing up with three older brothers, I quickly learned to hide in my room or the library. And I always put on covers from other books on my romance novels. Just in case. You reading this out in the open was quite... brazen." Alissa chuckled.

"It was stifling inside. Also, I didn't think anyone was going to be bothering me."

Trevelyan felt her face fall. It stung to know that Cassandra was displeased to see her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I'll just leave you." She started backing away.

"No!" Cassandra exclaimed. "I mean, stay if you'd like. You're not bothering me. It's..." She looked away. "It's nice. I've never had anyone to talk to about those things."

Alissa smiled in relief.

"I once had a friend who helped me procure those books. Her name was Jeannie. She was three years older than me and worked as a servant at my parents house. Once I've coughed her reading _Fighting your love_..."

"Wait. Is it the one about the Qunari warrior and a Magister's daughter or the one about the elvhen slave and her Tevinter master? I always get those two titles confused," Cassandra interjected.

"The first one. The other one is _Buying your love_ ," Alissa corrected.

"No. Now I remember. You're thinking about _Enslaved by love_. _Buying your love_ is about a Magister's daughter and her elvhen slave," the Seeker corrected.

"Oh, right. _I_ confuse _those_ two. Elvhen slaves and Tevinter Magisters are disturbingly popular."

"Forbidden love, power dynamics, potential for a tragic ending - who can resist?" Cassandra smirked. "But I interrupted you. You caught your friend reading, just like you did me. What happened next?"

"I do seem to have a knack for finding people reading dirty books, don't I?" Trevelyan grinned. "She was terrified I was going to tell my parents what she was doing instead of working. Obviously I would never do that. I just wanted to borrow the book when she was done with it. I've already read all the books I could find in the library. At the time I was just fourteen years old, so the book merchant wouldn't sell me anything racy, and most likely would tell my parents that I asked about something of that kind. Being older, Jeannie could get whatever she wanted. We worked out a system - I gave her money and she bought the books, which we took turns reading. Sometimes we read together, giggling furiously." Alissa smiled at the fond memories. "I miss her. I was seventeen when she got married and moved to Ferelden. By that time I was old enough to bribe the merchant not to tattle on me to my parents. I still write to Jeannie from time to time and send her books, since she can't get them in her village."

"I think the merchant I bought from was too scared of me to tell anyone about my purchases." It sounded like Cassandra was slightly proud of that.

"So what was the book that got you started?" The Inquisitor asked curiously.

"I remember it like it was yesterday. The smell of the parchment, the way the light shone over the glittering cover peaking from the shelf. It was read and gold, with a ridiculous picture on the front. _Pirate prince's pleasure_..."

"Did someone say _Pirate prince's pleasure_?" asked scout Harding, walking up to them.

"Certainly not. Who here would talk about such nonsense?" Cassandra pretended to be offended.

"How did you hear us? You were way over there." Alissa pointed to the other side of the courtyard.

"Excellent hearing, Inquisitor. That's one of the reasons why I'm so good at what I do. When you're in the wilderness it helps to be able to hear even the faintest snap of a twig under someone's foot or a suspicious rustling of leaves," scout Harding explained. "So you _weren't_ talking about that book?" she persisted.

"Have you read it?" Trevelyan asked tentatively.

"I... uh... I mean..." scout Harding stammered nervously.

It was time to take a risk, the Inquisitor decided. She was a fearless leader, after all.

"I've read it. And I've enjoyed it," Alissas said, studiously calm.

Scout Harding's face broke into a relieved smile.

"I've also read it. It was good. But not as good as _Pirate's plunder_ ," the dwarf told them.

"I agree." Cassandra nodded, looking relaxed now.

"So you did read it, lady Cassandra?" Scout Harding grinned.

"Uh... Yes." The warrior shifted her stance awkwardly, uncomfortable again.

"The scene by the waterfall in _Pirate's plunder_ \- am I right?" Alissa waggled her eyebrows suggestively, breaking up the tense moment.

"That was my favorite," scout Harding agreed, a dreamy smile on her face.

"When Captain Wildbeard does the thing... with the..." Cassandra gestured vaguely.

"Oh... The thing... With the thing..." Alissa blushed at the memory.

"The thing under the waterfall or the thing in the cabin? Because the thing in the cabin was..." Scout Harding fanned herself with her hand.

They all nodded.

"What are you discussing with such passion?" Josephine's accented voice startled the three of them. Cassandra looked at the ground, while scout Harding observed the passing clouds with great interest. Alissa had to force herself not to inspect her nails. They had to look like children coughed with their hands in the cookie jar.

"Oh, nothing. We're just talking about books on piracy," Alissa answered, hoping her voice sounded disinterested.

"Oh, I love them. _Board my ship, Captain_ is my favorite," Josephine said enthusiastically. Just as the words left her mouth, her expression changed, a light pink tinting her cheeks. "You were talking about historical books and not that kind of nonsense, I'm sure."

Alissa, Cassandra, and Scout Harding all stared at her.

"Actually, yes, we were talking about that kind of nonsense," Trevelyan said, breaking out of her shock. "We were discussing _Pirate's plunder_."

"Oh..." Josephine smiled. "The part in the cabin, at the end..."

"I was just saying that!" scout Harding exclaimed.

"This is quite amazing - I was never able to talk about this with so many other women," the Inquisitor told them, wonder in her voice.

"Truly? When I was at school we had meetings every two weeks to discuss the newest publications. A book club," Josephine said.

"We have to do this!" Alissa clapped her hands in glee. "Inquisition Book Club. What do you say?" She looked at the other women.

"Absolutely," scout Harding agreed.

"Excellent idea," Josephine enthused.

"That seems frivolous." Cassandra sounded skeptical.

"Oh Cassandra - we all deserve a bit of fun after all the hard work we do, don't we?" Trevelyan pressed on, not wanting to give up on the idea.

Josephine and scout Harding nodded. The three of them looked at Cassandra insistently.

"All right I suppose." The Seeker sighed.

"In that case, I call the first meeting of the Inquisition Book Club to order," Alissa said in an imitation of her 'serious Inquisitor' voice. "I move that we go to my chambers - for privacy and wine."

"I second that motion," scout Harding agreed.

Cassandra snorted, but also nodded.

"That sounds lovely, but the ambassador was eager to have more of the Inquisitor's time." Josephine wrung her hands.

"Oh Josie, please. I can't pretend to be interested in his tiny dogs for three more hours," Trevelyan whined. "Look - the Inquisitor, Ambassador, Seeker of Truth and lead scout need to discuss some very urgent strategic matters in the Inquisitor's chambers. Doesn't that take precedence over some ambassador's amusement?"

"I suppose," Josephine agreed tentatively. "I do think his dogs are boring. And rather ugly," she added, leaning in conspiratorially.

"So let's get it over with - apologize to him and be on our way," Alissa concluded.

They made their way to the main hall. When they reached the ambassador, Josephine launched into a long explanation filled with words of regret. Alissa stood by her side and nodded thoughtfully. The ambassador looked positively crestfallen, but had no choice but to wish the Inquisitor a productive meeting.

Once they were safely behind the closed doors to Trevelyan's chambers, Josephine giggled.

"I feel like I'm back at school, sneaking around so that the teachers won't confiscate my inappropriate books. If anyone were to find out that we were talking about romance novels instead of tending to our guests it would be quite the scandal," the Ambassador added seriously.

"Doesn't it make it more exciting?" Alissa prodded.

"It does." Josie's face broke into a mischievous smile.

"Make yourselves comfortable." Trevelyan told them when they reached the top of the stairs, gesturing to the chamber, and moving to the side room to retrieve some glasses and wine.

When she returned, scout Harding and Josephine were perched on the couch, while Cassandra sat on her desk chair, which she dragged close to the couch. Trevelyan passed the glasses around and filled them.

"We found this fine vintage in an old smugglers cave in Crestwood. There were quite a few spiders guarding it," the Inquisitor informed them casually, setting the bottle down. "Maker - I'm a terrible hostess. I shouldn't have told you that." She bit her lip nervously. "I can find something else."

"Something that was guarded by gurguts, perhaps?" scout Harding teased. "Or a bear maybe?"

"No matter where it came from, the contents are perfectly delightful," Josephine assured, sipping on the wine.

"To the Inquisition Book Club," Cassandra announced lifting her glass in a toast.

" _You_ are all positively delightful." Alissa smiled, raising her glass and drinking with the others.

"You are too kind, Inquisitor," Josephine murmured.

"Please - here I'm not the Inquisitor, so call me by my name. I hope you'll allow me, and each other, to forgo titles as well." They all nodded. "I do apologize - I don't think I know your name, scout Harding." Alissa turned to the dwarf who suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"You don't know it, Inqui... I mean Alissa..." scout Harding corrected herself. "You don't know it, because I don't make it common knowledge."

"Why?" Josephine questioned, a thin line of confusion forming between her brows.

"It's a bit... embarrassing," the dwarf muttered.

"Oh come now, we've just been discussing pirate smut - there's no room left for embarrassment between us." Trevelyan grinned.

"Very well." Scout Harding took a deep breath. "It's... Lace."

"That's a beautiful name," Josephine commented with a smile.

"It's not nearly as odd as Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena," the Seeker supplied.

"It's just so... silly. Not fit for a serious woman who serves a powerful organization." Lace took a large gulp of her wine.

"Well, as a woman leading said powerful organization, I hereby proclaim that Lace is a proud and strong name, perfect for the best scout anyone could ask for." Alissa lifted her glass again. "To Lace Harding."

"Lace Harding," Cassandra and Josephine echoed.

Lace blushed slightly, taking a sip of her drink.

"Sooo... before the two of you joined us, I and Cassandra were talking about the first romance novel we read. For Cassandra it was _Pirate prince's pleasure_ ," Trevelyan informed them, settling on the bed.

"Diving straight into deep water, I see." Josephine laughed. "I think I just made a pun." She looked very pleased with herself at the discovery, which Alissa found adorable.

"It was a very apt pun since that book is filled with them. I laughed far too much at 'loot my treasure chest, Captain'," Trevelyan said with a smile.

"The one about exploring her cave was also good," Lace observed.

"And when she said that he can have her booty anytime it was surprisingly sweet, when put in context," Josephine added.

"For me it was all terribly confusing," Cassandra recalled. "I was still rather young and inexperienced at the time, so I couldn't conceive of what the captain meant when he said that he wanted to dock in her port. And when he suggested that he was going to sink his anchor in her seabed, I was both discombobulated and vaguely terrified."

The rest of them broke into a fit of giggles.

"You poor thing," Josephine mumbled through another peal of laughter. "That's not an easy introduction to carnal matters."

"Climbing his flag pole... Polishing his deck... Unfurling his mast..." Lace listed off, clutching at her sides. "They couldn't have made any sense to you."

"Diving into her cove... Steering her ship..." Alissa continued. "'Arrr, prepare to be boarded'," she croaked in a fake pirate voice. "What followed had to tip you off as to the meaning of all the previous ones."

"Yes, that was... informative," the Seeker agreed.

"I had the exact opposite problem," Alissa told them. "For the longest time I could get my hands only on rather tame books. The first one was _Protecting her heart_. I'm not sure any of you have heard of it. It's quite old."

"I might have," Cassandra offered. "It was about a princess and a knight who protected her, if I'm not mistaken."

"Yes. This was exactly that," Trevelyan told her.

"Was it any good?" Lace wanted to know.

"At the time I thought it was just incredible. Looking back at it, it was rather generic. Nothing original - standard slightly forbidden courtly love, two people divided by their station in life and some easily avoidable misunderstandings. The love scenes consisted of vague mentions of heated kisses, wandering hands and heights of joy. I had no idea what those heights were supposed to be," Alissa told them. "The first slightly smutty book I read was _Captured by love_."

"Oh, I think I've read it," Josephine interjected. "A mercenary captures a noble's daughter for ransom and does some creative things to her on horseback."

"That's the one. When I reached the first love scene I was positively scandalized. I had no idea such things were done. For a moment I thought I should stop reading such filth, but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to do that. I was impossibly curious and devoured the whole thing in one evening. I was hooked. Unfortunately this was the only book of this kind in my parents' library. The rest was on the level of _Protecting her heart_. It was only after I got to know Jeannie, one of my parent's servants who happened to share my love for romance novels," she explained for Josie and Lace's benefit, "did I have a ready supply of inappropriate books."

"It's funny, I also have a friend named Jeannie, who shares her books with me," Lace informed them. "She gets them from a noblewoman she knows who lives in the Free Marches."

"Wait - does your Jeannie have long black hair and a mole on her forearm that looks like a leaf?" Alissa asked.

"She does!" Lace exclaimed. "We have the same friend." She grinned.

"Jeannie will be so excited when she hears about it."

"Thank you for the books, Inq... Alissa. Not using your title will take some getting used to." Lace chuckled.

"You'll get the hang of it in no time," Trevelyan assured her. "Any book you're particularly happy I sent Jeannie?"

" _In too deep for you_ ," Lace answered immediately. "There are precious few romance novels with dwarves in them."

"That's true. There's this one, _Depths of desire,_ and _Deep road to your heart._ I can't think of any more," Josephine mused.

"There's also _Wilderness of the heart_ , about an exiled daughter of a proud dwarven family, who falls in love with an elf," Lace added.

"It sounds interesting, I've never heard of it." Cassandra sounded enthused.

"Oh, no one expected it to be popular, so there weren't many copies. A dwarf and elf pairing is probably even more uncommon that a female templar and a male mage," Lace observed.

"There's _Against all rules, Fire of passion_ , _Shocked by love_ ," Josephine ticked the titles of on her fingers. "That last one has a great scene with an electricity trick."

"I haven't read this one." Cassandra looked surprised by that fact.

"I'm sure we can find you a copy. It's quite something. Magic exists to serve women." Alissa grinned.

"I'll drink to that." Josephine drained the last of her wine. The rest of them followed suit.

"I think we need another bottle," Trevelyan suggested, getting up of her bed.

"I'm not sure we should. I have some letters to write in the evening..." Josephine told them.

"They'll keep till morning, won't they?" Alissa cajoled, already picking out another bottle. "Let's live a little."

"You're corrupting us," Josephine chided halfheartedly, none the less offering her glass for Trevelyan to refill.

"I do think we're already quite corrupted," Lace joked, her hand with the glass outstretched.

"Do you remember where we got this bottle? I think there were no frightening animals surrounding it," Alissa asked Cassandra, pouring the wine.

"This one? I believe it was under a sofa in that mansion in the Emerald Graves. The one with the skeletons."

"Oh, I remember reading your rapport about it. Skeletons - how exciting." Josephine clasped her hand to her chest.

"They were mostly annoying. Made the darndest rattling sound when they shambled." Alissa waved her hand with the bottle dismissively, almost spilling its contents, and chuckling at her exuberance. "So, Josephine, what was the book that got you started?" she asked, sitting cross-legged on her bed.

" _Of silk and secrets_. I cried so much," Josephine confessed.

"Oh, me too. When the chevalier was condemned to death and all he regretted was never telling his lady how he felt, I just sobbed." Lace nodded sadly.

"I might have shed a tear for those two," Cassandra admitted.

"I was bawling my eyes out," Alissa added. "It was so unfair. They ended up together, but he lost his sword hand. His life had to be unbearable. I almost prefer the outright unhappy endings. Those bitter-sweet ones leave me confused and slightly angry."

"Aren't happy endings just the best?" Lace suggested.

"Definitely," Alissa agreed. "Problems on the way make the resolution only better, but when I turn the last page I want to be certain that the hero and heroine will always be together, with all limbs intact."

"In my school days the sad ones were the most popular," Josephine recalled. "We looked down at the happy endings. We thought they weren't... sophisticated enough. _Love's service_ was considered an absolute masterpiece."

"I don't think I've read this one." Lace looked thoughtful.

"That's good," Alissa and Cassandra exclaimed at the same time. They looked at each other, surprised, and laughed.

"It's just painful," Alissa offered. "There's this elvhen girl who's sold into slavery. For years she's treated horribly. Then a young Magister buys her. They fall in love, but his father finds out and threatens to sell her. The young Magister runs away with the girl, but they're pursued by his family. Eventually they're found out and in order to give his love a chance, the young Magister sacrifices himself. He dies. She gets away and finds out she's pregnant with his child," Trevelyan summarized. "Is this supposed to make me feel better? She's all alone, the man she love is dead, and now she has a baby to take care of. That's a nightmare." Alissa shook her head angrily.

"That's not something I'm interested in reading." Lace's lips twisted with displeasure.

"Then it's agreed - we try to avoid books with unhappy endings and babies," Trevelyan suggested.

"Then this will be a regular thing?" Cassandra wanted to know.

"I will not force you to do it, if you don't want to," Alissa rushed to assure them. "This is not the order of the Inquisitor, you have to know this. You can say no. I just thought it might be nice to unwind and talk, but if you have other obligations..."

"I for one would love that," Lace stopped Trevelyan's nervous babbling.

"I didn't mean to sound like I wasn't pleased by the idea," Cassandra corrected herself. "We just have so much to do... I'm not sure we can meet every two weeks."

"That's just something I did with my friends where we had plenty of free time," Josephine informed them. "There are no rules. We can have meetings every month or even two months."

Alissa felt relieved. She really hated the idea of people treating her differently and obeying her in their free time just because technically she was their leader. What she wanted was to be friends with the incredible men and women she met in the course of her fight against Corypheus.

"Every month should work," Lace suggested.

"We can try." Cassandra sounded skeptical.

"I believe in us." Alissa grinned, feeling confident again. Looking around, she noticed that they have all drained their glasses once more. "Another bottle?" she offered.

"We shouldn't," Josephine protested feebly.

"Lace still hasn't told us what was her first romance novel," Cassandra told her, sounding almost accusatory. "We won't leave this room before she tell us about it."

"You are quite the fearsome interrogator." Josephine laughed.

"I'm getting that bottle," Alissa informed them. She wobble slightly as she got up.

"Just one," Josephine insisted.

"This is my day off, I can have three more." Lace hiccupped. "Or maybe not three. Sometimes it's not fun to be small."

Trevelyan rummaged among the shelves and finally emerged with something she thought was light, sweet and low on alcohol.

"What was the book, then?" Cassandra prompted Lace, as the Inquisitor poured the wine.

"If you must know, it was _Starkheaven scoundrel_ ," Lace murmured into her cup.

"I've read it. And might have re-read some parts." Alissa felt a blush creeping up her neck. "That Starkheaven accent is quite something, isn't it?" she added quickly.

"Being from the Free Marches you must be quite familiar with it," Josephine noted, sipping her wine.

"Oh, yes. It's positively divine. I also had an opportunity to be in Starkheaven during a holiday of theirs and saw a great many men in kilts. It was... overwhelming." Trevelyan giggle at the memory.

"Men in skirts - I don't find that particularly appealing," Cassandra scowled.

"But they don't have anything under them! Isn't that just so exciting?" Lace exclaimed.

"To each her own," the Seeker allowed.

"I haven't seen a man in a kilt, but once there was a mercenary group from Starkheaven passing through my village. That accent bewitched me," Lace recalled. "It was after I've read the book, and only then did I understand why lady Cecilia was so flustered when lord MacDermott was speaking to her. Since then I was hooked on those Starkheaven romances."

"I quite enjoy them myself," Josephine told them, draining her glass. "I'd love to talk some more, especially since I have a few opinions about _Desire and destiny in Denerim_ that were quite controversial among my friends, but I do believe we have to get back to our duties."

Alissa and Lace groaned simultaneously.

"Josephine is right." Cassandra stood up, looking strangely sober. Trevelyan wondered how much the Seeker would have to drink in order to get even slightly tipsy. The Inquisitor for one felt a bit lightheaded and more relaxed than usually.

"But we haven't decided what we're going to read for our meeting next month," Lace protested.

"Have any of you read _Obeying her order_?" Josephine asked. "I've just started it and it looks promising. The Randy Dowager gives it five scarves out of five."

"I bought it last week. I was quite excited to read it," Alissa answered.

"I trust the Randy Dowager." Lace chuckled. "How absurd that sentence would sound out of context," she mused.

"I'd also like to read it," Cassandra said.

"Then it's agreed." Trevelyan smiled. "We'll..." She was cut off by a sound of doors opening and heavy footsteps on the stairs.

"Inquisitor?" Cullen called out. It was very smart of him not to use her name, she thought with relief.

"Yes, Commander?" she called out.

"Our Orlesian guest is quite impatient..." Cullen stopped when he reached the top of the stairs and saw the small gathering of women. "Cassandra, Josephine, scout Harding." He inclined his head to each of them. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"We were just leaving," Josephine informed him. "We'll arrange the details for next month some other time. You should freshen up and go back to our guest, Inquisitor."

"If I must." Alissa sighed.

The three women made for the stairs.

"I'm just going to stay, if you don't mind Inquisitor. I have a few questions about your next mission," Cullen said formally.

"Please do. I'm not overly eager to speak with the ambassador."

"I'll be entertaining him until you return. Please don't dally, Inquisitor," Josephine told her gently while descending.

"I'll do my best," Trevelyan promised.

Cullen arched a brow at her after catching sight of the glasses and open bottles. Alissa bit her lip, trying not to laugh.

"Serious business, I see," her Commander observed casually after the doors closed behind Trevelyan's guests.

Now Alissa laughed out loud.

"Just girly things. Wine and books," she told him.

"Wait - you were discussing one of your naughty books?"

"Did you just..." Alissa giggled furiously. "Did you just call them naughty books?"

"What _should_ I call them?" Cullen questioned, a slight blush on his face.

"Romance novels. Just call them romance novels. Although it sound's adorable when you say that." Trevelyan walked up to him, placing a hand on his cheek. She was about to kiss him when a thought surfaced in her alcohol-addled mind. "How do you know about those?"

She might have been a bit embarrassed at the idea of him knowing about her literary choices. What did he think about her reading such things?

"I just... uh... found one of them. It was on your nightstand. I was waiting for you and might have... leafed through the pages," Cullen explained.

"Which one was it?" Alissa wanted to know, vaguely terrified that it was something he would find distasteful.

" _When the Maker isn't looking_."

 _That's not so bad_ , Trevelyan thought. It was the story of a forbidden affair between a Chantry sister and a templar. Nothing Cullen couldn't handle.

"After what we did in the Chantry you couldn't be very shocked," she offered tentatively.

"No. It's not that. It's just... I never thought those things were so graphic. To see the words on the page. Those acts described in such detail." His blush was a deep red now.

"Are you terribly scandalized, my Chantry boy?"

"No!" he protested. "Maybe a bit. But in a good way. I..." He swallowed audibly, looking at his boots. "I kind of enjoyed it, " he finally admitted.

Alissa made what she could only describe as an undignified joyous yelp.

"Which part? Which part?" she asked him excitedly, bouncing on her toes.

"The part in the uh... the confessional," he stammered.

"Oooo! I loved it too!" Alissa enthused. "Did you read the whole chapter through?"

"No, I didn't get the chance. I heard you on the stairs and put the book down."

"And you pretended that you didn't see it? Why? You knew I must enjoy that sort of thing, if it was on my nightstand, and you enjoyed it, so why keep it a secret?" Trevelyan was baffled.

"I didn't wanted to seem nosy. I don't know. I was embarrassed." Cullen did look very uncomfortable, never looking straight at his lover.

"Would you like to borrow that book?" she offered.

"I have a lot of reports to read, missives to send," her Commander evaded the question.

"I also had a lot of paperwork to get through, but I read it anyway. And I touched myself all the while, wishing that my very own templar was in bed with me."

Cullen groaned at her words.

"I'll read it," he declared, now looking at her hungrily. "But I'm not sure if I'll be thinking about the story or you pleasuring yourself."

"Either if fine by me." Alissa could hear how breathless her voice has become. "I'll get it now."

She turned to go to her shelve, but Cullen's hands on her hips stopped her. He spun her back to face him, pressing her to his body.

"Josephine will be mad at me," Trevelyan whispered, looking at his lips so close to hers.

"Are you that eager to see the ambassador?" her Commander rasped mere millimeters from her mouth.

"Don't start something we can't finish," Alissa pleaded, already uncomfortably aroused by his proximity and the thoughts of him reading the same words which excited her so much.

"Lady Inquisitor, Lady Josephine requests your presence immediately," the voice of one of Josephine's servants carried up the stairs, making Cullen and Alissa jump apart guiltily.

"I'll be there in a moment! Please tell her to wait for me just a bit longer," the Inquisitor called back.

"Yes my lady," the servant answered, closing the doors.

"That was a close..." Trevelyan was cut off by Cullen's lips. He kissed her quickly, clashing their lips for a moment, then pulling away.

"Why would you... You evil man." Trevelyan panted slightly.

"I just couldn't not kiss you. We didn't get a chance all day and it would be unbearable to go without that till evening," Cullen told her hotly.

Alissa wanted to be angry that he was leaving her frustrated, but after such words she just couldn't muster any negative feelings.

"I'll get that book and we'll go down. Expect me in your loft right after supper," she told him, stepping further away, not wanting to be tempted to return the kiss.

"I'll be waiting, my love." He sounded so earnest and sweet, that Trevelyan's heart felt like it was swelling with love.

"Cover it with those old letters," she told him, pressing the book and papers into his hands.

His large palms covered hers.

"Maybe tonight we could read together," he suggested, gently running his thumbs over her fingers, a faint blush on his cheeks.

Just the thought of all those wonderfully filthy words spoken out loud, in her lover's deep voice, made Alissa sigh.

"Have I told you I love you today?" she asked.

"Is that a yes?"

"That's a 'yes, I love you, you perfect man'. Now let go of me, or a servant will see us naked on the floor," Trevelyan threatened.

"I love you too." Reluctantly, Cullen removed his hands, and they made their way down the stairs. The evening couldn't come soon enough for Trevelyan.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a massive crush on Edward Kennway and my head was filled with pirate puns while playing Black Flag. I wrote them all down. I had a feeling I was going to use them some day, and here I finally got the opportunity.
> 
> Obviously I had to write some puns and titles for other genres. I was sitting at the bus stop, writing down anything that came to mind and it soon devolved into me writing anything dirty with alliteration and/or a geographic location in it. Since I couldn't use them in the story, here they all are, for your amusement: ravished by a Rivanni, fingerfucked in Ferelden, sucked off on the Storm Coast, oral sex in Orlais (too on the nose? that's what he said), fulfilled in the Fallow Mire, punished on the Plains, masturbating mercenaries, hammered by a blacksmith, saved by a slave, storm coast sodomites, satisfied in Starkheaven.
> 
> Also, I wrote this waaay before Trespasser came out, and then forgot about the story. When I was editing it and saw the part about losing an arm I was like 'holy shit, did I accidentally foreshadowed the fate of the Inquisitor?' I wrote it as something tragic, which I wouldn't wish on a beloved character, and boom, it happened to the Inquisitor. Spooky.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always apreciated. [my tumblr and stuff](%E2%80%9Dthe-lady-or-the-tiger.tumblr.com/%E2%80%9D)


End file.
